Sunday Collection: The Great Healing

Learning what emotional maturity is and isn't

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Welcome to The Sunday Collection

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We’ll be highlighting a book or a collection of books we think will help you strive forward in life.

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The Great Healing

We are an accumulation of a lot of things.

Our experiences.

Our friends.

Our neighborhood

And most of all, our parents.

In America, living in a society of oppression and pain, black parents have gone through the wringer to raise their kids.

We’re all slowly becoming aware that there’s more to parenting than punishment.

I’ve recently been reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson.

And it’s been enlightening on the parent styles we’re all familiar with and how it shapes how we deal with our relationships as adults.

It’s not about what our parents have done wrong.

It’s about how we can heal and learn what is right.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes on emotionally immature vs. mature people:

“Those who are extremely emotionally immature may then use punishment, threats of abandonment, and shaming as trump cards in an attempt to feel in control and bolster their self-esteem—at their children’s expense.”

“emotionally mature people are almost always sensitive to others, knowing this is simply part of having good relationships.”

“emotionally immature parents expect their children to know and mirror them.”

I think many of us can relate to the idea of a kid being attentive and feeling as though we’re ignored or shamed for doing something unexpected.

As kids, we are not aware of our emotional intelligence. As a result, we grow up with invisible needs that pop up later in relationships.

This book gave me that observation because as an only child raised by my mother, I was always able to take care of myself.

Not out of a desire, but out of necessity.

Being independent is powerful, but not expressing emotions because life always seemed smoother, just bottling them up? Well, that’s an emotionally immature thing.

This quote summed it up in a mind-blowing way for me

“As children, we make sense of the world by putting together a story that explains our life to us. We imagine what would make us feel better and create what I call a healing fantasy—a hopeful story about what will make us truly happy one day.”

Let’s break free from the emotional baggage to be there for the next generation even better than the one before.

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